Episode 34. Lose your Marbles

We’ve all had those days. You’re late for an interview and as you’re running on the sidewalk, so is a massive mastiff who decides to relieve itself in the exact spot that you step. Not only are you late, but you have to scrape off the fecal matter that has now affixed itself to the bottom of your shoe. If you do not take care of this, your potential employers will either wonder why you only own one shoe OR why they are interviewing someone who ushers in the pungent smell of a dog park. Your best bet is to clean that shoe and FAST. The shoe is clean and now you’re in the room. Handshakes and smiles, you need to make an impression in order to make up for being late. Instead of ignoring it, you confront it head-on and explain to the panel of high-level executives what exactly transpired on that sidewalk. You launch into a tirade about unaccompanied animals and how it’s a public disgrace that dogs are allowed to roam wherever and treat the city like their own personal toilet. They’re all nodding. The bearded one releases a small chuckle. To seal the deal and as a matter of personal revenge, you add that the offending dog was a mastiff. Suddenly, the room turns cold and all smiles are gone. The suits look over at their colleague who seems to be personally wounded by your words. Turns out, his lineage is from a long line of esteemed breeders who even bred dogs for President Theodore Roosevelt. Their breed of speciality? You guessed it— mastiff. The assistant quickly whisks you away and you’re back on the street. With all prospects gone and an empty refrigerator back at your apartment, it’s hard to feel like you haven’t totally lost your marbles. “Isn’t that an idiom?” You think. Grabbing your phone and headphones, you tap to your podcast platform of choice and see that your favorite show, Hold Your Horses: Idioms for Idiots just released a new episode. You pull your collar tighter and smile. Things are looking up already.